Season 7: Episode 6.8 – Sharing is Caring
On today’s episode of “Conversations With Small Children.” We arrive on the scene just in time for lunch. The small children were promised a delicious and gooey offering of grilled processed cheese product. What they actually received was turkey and Swiss with a side of applesauce pouches since Mother had just cleaned the kitchen and didn’t want to dirty another pan.
Mother has forgotten in her hurried preparation of the noon day meal that both of the small children do not, in fact, like Swiss Cheese. Swiss cheese is a rather loathed item. If one were to type “Infidel Cheese” into the images section of a search engine… one might find a photograph of this yodeling (neutral in war-time) dairy product. It would also be likely that the small children had placed it there for reasons known only to themselves.
Plates received. Offending cheese discarded after a rather poignant observation by one of the small children that the cheese looked an awful lot like Sponge Bob.
Once the Turkey and
Swiss sandwiches were fully demolished by the small children they moved on to the Applesauce pouches.
If one has tried these ingenious little pre-packaged Applesauce delivery devices, one knows that half of the fun of the product is blowing up the package like a balloon after the applesauce has been consumed.
One of the small children sits on the couch and proceeds to rapidly blow up and then suck the air back out of the package as many times as is humanly possible in under 30 seconds.
The small child stops for a breath as the light-headedness begins to take hold. She grabs her head. Mother says “I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” The small child turns to her and says, “Because I’ll hyperventilate, right?!” Mother shakes her head. She was unaware that anyone really listened to anything she said. She is amused.
A few moments after lunch, the small children decide it’s time for dessert. They run to the freezer where Mother has stored the Frozen Yogurt Popsicles. As these popsicles come in two colors one of the small children informs her mother that the popsicles are to be eaten in a very specific “A, B pattern”. First a red one, then a purple one, then a red one, etc.
The first small child has returned to the living room with her purple popsicle unwrapped. As she’s espousing the theories of popsicle consumption by color, her sister interrupts with the news that there is now only one popsicle left. The first small child runs back into the kitchen to assess the situation, declares that their mother must have the last popsicle (to be perfectly fair), dumps her theory on patterns and decides she wants the remaining red popsicle instead of the purple one she had originally chosen.
The first small child returns to the living room grasping both popsicles. She thrusts the purple popsicle at her mother and proudly says. “Would you like a popsicle mom, I barely licked it!”
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