Rerun- Season 7: Episode 1.9 – Mammary Glands

Previously on “Conversations With Small Children.”

We return to the Tiny Yellow House and find the children upstairs in their parents room watching a documentary on baby animals.

Mother is busily folding clothes in the tiny laundry area and isn’t really paying attention to the television program in which the two small children are currently ensconced.

At some point in the program the camera zooms in on small animals being fed by their mother.  The way animals do.

This prompts questions from the small children, who by this point have strange looks of mild disgust, amazement and confusion plastered on their little faces.

Small Child #1- “Mommy… I have a question,”

Mother- “Yes dear, what is it?”

SC#1- “Mommy… how are the kittens eating?”

Mother- “Well, the mother cat has special parts, and they produce milk for the kittens to drink until they are old enough to eat solid food. They are called Mammary Glands.”

By this point the sheer volume of information being shown and told to the small children is more than slightly overwhelming for them.

Small Child #2- “Um…. did you feed us like that?”

Mother- “No, silly you don’t drink Cat’s milk. ”

SC#1 &#2- “mommmmmyyyyyy!”

Mother- “Well, I wanted to but my body wouldn’t let me. It wasn’t working right, so you were fed with a bottle. But lots of women feed their babies like that, and someday if you have babies, you will be able to feed your babies that way.”

SC#1 & #2- “EWWWW!!!! That’s disgusting!”

By now both of the small children are thoroughly grossed out. Mother goes back to her folding.

The small children are quiet for a long time.

The first of the small children pipes up…
SC#1- Mommy… did dinosaurs feed their babies that way?

Mother, folding clothes and not really paying attention to what the child has said much less processing that dinosaurs are not mammals and don’t feed their young that way… gave a quick… “Yup.. probably…” in response.

To which the child responds “That’s it I’m SO done with Dinosaurs.”

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