Conversations With Small Children

From the mouths of babes…

Month: March, 2013

Season 8: Episode 3.28- We Learned It At School

Tonight on Conversations With Small Children… we find the family cuddled up in the living room watching a family movie. The father sits with one small child on the love seat and mother is curled up under a blanket scratching the back of the other small child.

The movie is a heartwarming story of a family with three children who are left with their grandparents for a few days while the father and mother go away on vacation. During the movie the grandfather, Artie, goes to watch the grandson at his baseball game. A verbal argument ensues when Artie objects to the “new” rules of baseball where everyone wins, there are no outs and no score is kept. He insists that a little boy, who has been revealed as his grandson’s bully earlier in the movie, has been struck out by the grandson. The little boy has had enough and hits the Artie squarely between the legs with a baseball bat.

Back in the living room mother, father and the small children watching the movie laugh at the comedy gold that is the crotch shot.

A little further into the movie the grandmother and mother are talking about what has just transpired on the ball field. The grandmother says something to the effect of, “That little monster hit Artie in his special area.”

At which point the small child curled up on the couch with mother says in a very nonchalant  little voice, “She could have just said penis.”

And with that mother and father stare at each other with looks of mutual terror and amusement and manage to squeak out, “WHAT?!?! Where did you learn that word?”

“At school,” said the small child, “Geez it’s not  that big of a deal.”

Copyright © 2013 TinyYellowHouse



Season 8: Episode 3.13- Mother Knows Better

On tonight’s episode of Conversations With Small Children we find the mother and two small children completing homework on the couch. One of the small children has been assigned twenty minutes of reading. The small child asks if it would be ok to read a magazine for her twenty minutes. The mother agrees and the small child selects a Popular Photography magazine from the pile of her parents magazines.
She thumbs through the magazine and selects an article with a photograph of an adult lion embracing a lion cub. The small child scans the article and announces that she’s done reading.
“Really,” says the mother, “What is the article about?”
“Well,” replies the small child, “It’s about a baby lion who gets lost and goes to the zoo. And in the picture the daddy lion is saying goodbye to his baby.” The mother shake her head… “That’s the plot of the movie Madagascar 2. Try reading that article again.”

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