Tonight on Conversations With Small Children… we find the family cuddled up in the living room watching a family movie. The father sits with one small child on the love seat and mother is curled up under a blanket scratching the back of the other small child.
The movie is a heartwarming story of a family with three children who are left with their grandparents for a few days while the father and mother go away on vacation. During the movie the grandfather, Artie, goes to watch the grandson at his baseball game. A verbal argument ensues when Artie objects to the “new” rules of baseball where everyone wins, there are no outs and no score is kept. He insists that a little boy, who has been revealed as his grandson’s bully earlier in the movie, has been struck out by the grandson. The little boy has had enough and hits the Artie squarely between the legs with a baseball bat.
Back in the living room mother, father and the small children watching the movie laugh at the comedy gold that is the crotch shot.
A little further into the movie the grandmother and mother are talking about what has just transpired on the ball field. The grandmother says something to the effect of, “That little monster hit Artie in his special area.”
At which point the small child curled up on the couch with mother says in a very nonchalant little voice, “She could have just said penis.”
And with that mother and father stare at each other with looks of mutual terror and amusement and manage to squeak out, “WHAT?!?! Where did you learn that word?”
“At school,” said the small child, “Geez it’s not that big of a deal.”
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