Season 8: Episode 5.15- Reasons The Vet Is On Speed Dial

This week on, Conversations With Small Children…

One of the two family cats is at the veterinarian’s office in the midst of an exploratory laparotomy following renal failure after consuming five pork juice soaked strings from the garbage can. Back at home we find mother beside herself with worry for the wretched little garbage eater and attempting to make a prune cake that was featured on a television program earlier in the day. Upon opening the container of prunes she discovers that over half of the can has been consumed. Knowing full well that the father wouldn’t touch the canister of prunes if he were dying of starvation and prunes were his only option, she turns her attention to the two small children sitting quietly in the living room.

“Do you know what happened to the canister of prunes?”, she inquires of the first small child.

“No, I didn’t touch them.” The first small child replies.

“What about you?,” mother asks the second small child, “Do you know what happened to the canister of prunes?”

“Yes,” says the small child, “I ate them.”

The mother stares at the child with wide and searching eyes, “You mean to tell me that you ate over half of a canister of prunes?”

“Well, not exactly,” begins the second of the small children, “I ate two or three of them.”

“Then what, pray tell, happened to the rest of the prunes?” mother says.

“I fed them to the dog,” chirped the second small child obviously amused with herself, “She likes them!”

The mother quietly excuses herself. Stifles laughter. Pushes the dog out the back door and into the yard where she is likely to do far less damage after a belly full of prunes and picks up the phone yet again to call the Vet, who by this time is calculating another large invoice for the Tiny Yellow House.