Conversations With Small Children

From the mouths of babes…

Category: Reruns

Rerun: Season 5 – Episode 9.5 – Sissy is a Rat

On this episode of Conversations With Small Children we find small children in the car with their mother making yet another trip to town. The small children are now in Kindergarten and busily chattering in the back seat. The mother inquires about school. Both children agreed that is was fun. Once again they both say they didn’t learn a thing. The sun begins going down over the fields in the countryside casting shadows on the road behind the car. Between town and home one of the two small children asks, “Mommy, why are there sunsets.”

Mother decides that now would be a bad time to go into in-depth scientific analysis so she says. “God paints them for us. He paints new ones every day and none of them are the same. He does the same thing with sunrises too, because He loves us.”

The small child who had asked the question ponders this for a moment and then says, “Well then He must have painted this one just for me!”

The mother’s heart warms and she says, “Well, what about sissy? Don’t you think God painted that sunset just for her too?”

“Nope!” replies the small child.

The other small child in the backseat scowls in her booster and stares out the window in the opposite direction of her sister, her little hands clenching into fists.

“Why not?” inquires the mother, “Don’t you think God loves her too?”

After a brief hesitation, the small child said “God painted that sunset just for me because I was really good at school today. He didn’t paint it for my sister because she was naughty and got a time out!”

Copyright © 2012 TinyYellowHouse

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Rerun, Season 6: Episode 2.15 – The Ice Cream OD

Tonight on “Conversations With Small Children”… we find ourselves at local Ice Cream parlor where the two small girls have requested a double scoop cone.The parents acquiesce remembering the small two scoop cones of their day, prior to modern super-sizing of all things food related.

We fast forward through some dialogue and arrive at the inevitable moment when the sugar rampages through the bodies of the small children and completely takes control.

At which point the older of the two children applies the partially finished cone to her forehead and declares loudly from beneath the sticky veil of chocolate that shrouds her face… “I’M A UNICORN!!!” Laughter erupts from the table and the parents look at each other in utter disbelief. While the rest of the patrons in the store try to stifle their giggling.

During the drive home the parents contemplate whether this would be an appropriate circumstance in which to call 911 and the conversation that might have followed…

“911… what’s your emergency.”

“My child has overdosed.”

“Sir… calm down… can you tell me what they have taken?”

“YES! SUGAR… AND LOTS OF IT!”

The parents decide that this might not be taken seriously and put the idea from their minds. About 4 minutes from the house they decide that the only course of action possible is to threaten the children with immediate shipment to Abu Dhabi…

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OR… a bath and a one way ticket to bed as well as being cut off from that amount of ice cream for the rest of forever.

Copyright © 2012 TinyYellowHouse

Rerun: Season 5: Episode 10.17 : Fire In The Hole!

Previously…  “Conversations With Small Children”

We find the family attending the morning church service. The mother is seated in the rear of the church in her usual pew with her two small girls who are about the age of 5. The small children from every family are being gathered at the front of the sanctuary for the Message for the Children. The two pastors are standing at the front of the church between the small children and the congregation wearing their pastoral robes. A large communion table with two tall pillar candles separates the pastors from their engrossed little friends.

One of the pastors begins telling a lovely story about God’s love and relating how the church is like a big family and he spreads his arms out wide over the communion table where the candles are flickering dangerously close to the polyester sleeve of his pastoral robe. One of the small children pipes up and says “Um… you’re going to catch your robe on fire.”

The mother joins the congregation in riotous laughter and is glad that there were no object lessons on how to be on fire for God. The small children are dismissed and skip off to Sunday School.

After the service the two small children are reunited with their mother. The mother inquires what the small child would have done had the pastor caught his robe on fire. The small child looks up from her post-Sunday School cookie and lemonade and says, “I would have told him to Stop, Drop and Roll!”

Copyright © 2012 TinyYellowHouse

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